Get the balance right Published Aug. 25, 2009 By Lt. Col. Aaron Rigdon 325th Maintenance Squadron commander TYNDALL AIR FORCE BASE, Fla. -- As we approach the time of year when our children go back to school after a short summer (that seems to get shorter every year), I thought it might be prudent to discuss a problem many of us face: balancing serving our country, while being a caring parent and or spouse. This is an easy task, and achieving it is a problem that gets harder to manage the longer we continue to serve our country and assume more responsibility. Balance is defined by Webster's dictionary as both the "stability produced by even distribution of weight on each side of the vertical axis," and "mental and emotional steadiness." I found both of these definitions perfectly suited to the "balancing act" that many Airman encounter. Now, I know what some of you are thinking, "Balance, come on, get real. How is that possible when one of our core values is service BEFORE self?" You are partially correct, as our core values are vitally important and define who and what we are, but the core value is "service before self," not "service in spite of yourself." True, as an Airman you have to constantly maintain focus on your job by giving 100 percent of yourself, but does that mean you must exclude taking time to achieve the mission at home of loving and enjoying your family? How can you achieve balance if you are too weighted toward one side of the axis? Are you mentally and emotionally steady if you neglect either your family or your job? There are many times when the Air Force asks much of all of us in order to accomplish the mission. There is always the possibility of multiple 12 hour days and working weekend after weekend, and we all gladly do it because it's why we wear the uniform. I am a firm believer that the reason we can do these things is not just our love of country and pride in our job, but it's also made possible by the love of our family. I truly think the love and support from our family and friends provides the fuel to the fire that allows us to burn so bright and for so long while we are in garrison or deployed. So the real question is, how do we get the balance right between our full-time occupations of Airman, spouse, and parent? I will tell you from experience the solution is seemingly simple, but a little harder to put into practice. Basically, continue doing what many of you do, and that is give it your all at work all the time. The other key is to give that same amount of effort when you get home. You do this by maximizing the time you spend with your family and living "in the moment." This means not thinking about what you did at work that day or what you have to do tomorrow, but actually being there for your loved one(s). Yeah, I know it sounds like a "Dr. Phil" lecture, but it can be done. Take it from a guy who has burned the candle at both ends for a long time; it's hard to give 100 percent at home when you have been giving it at work all day or all week, but it is necessary. The Air Force has ways to deal with you if choose to neglect your job, but what happens when you choose to neglect your family obligations? So even if you miss those weekends occasionally or get home right before your kids go to bed, there are many things you can do to make up for those times. For example, take your leave, that means all of it, and the next time your child has a dance recital, a baseball game, or a Thanksgiving lunch at their school, tell your supervisor in advance and be there to enjoy it. Your squadron has enough people to cover your absence, or at least let you leave in time to make the game. I ask you this; at the end of your career are you going to wish you had spent more time at work or made the most out of the time you had with your family and friends? I know which one I would choose, because I know it is possible to do both and still be successful.