A Mother’s Day tribute to my Irish Mother Published May 14, 2007 By Maj. Paul Quigley 323th Securtiy Forces commander TYNDALL AIR FORCE BASE, Fla. -- Mother's Day, which is May 13, is an opportunity to recognize the woman who wiped your runny nose, cheered you up after every defeat and suffered for hours to bring you into this world. The "Irish Mother" is a metaphor for a leadership style I have espoused in my career and life. The "strong Irish mother" is a recurring theme in Irish America and in Boston, where I am from. There, many public and corporate leaders credit their mothers and grandmothers for being the primary influence in their lives. Jack Welch, former General Electric CEO and uncanny Irish American business acumen, was once quoted referring to his mother as "everything." "She taught me, 'Play to win, but know how to lose,'" Welch said. The "Irish Mother" serves her family with love and a desire to see the family grow strong, healthy and with unfettered success. She guides with a strong hand through the rough times, motivates with a confident voice when a challenge needs to be met, and praises with warmth when you exceed her expectations. My Irish Mother is the strongest person I know. She raised three children with a husband in the Merchant Marines, who was often at sea for nine months out of the year. She was challenged with the financial burden of a single-income home, living in a less than desirable part of the city and in an ever changing culture that conflicted with her Catholic upbringing. You could never tell her that things were tough or could not be handled, because she would tell you how much better it was compared to her youth. Often viewed as exaggerated, we seemed to never have it as hard as she did, and this reassurance put our issues into perspective. When we missed our dad, we knew it was better that he was at sea and not at the bar. When we dreaded having macaroni and hotdogs for the third night in a row, we knew it was better than stale government cheese sandwiches. When we were disciplined with a spoonful of soap, we knew it was better than being disciplined with the mythical Shillalah (an oak beating device none of us had ever seen). My mother's strength in the face of adversity gave us the confidence to make due with what we had - knowing that we could and would get through the hard times. There were many nights I could hear her worry turn into tears, and I wanted to be the "man of the house" she said I was and show her how I could provide for the family. That desire to make everything better when things have gone wrong is the heart of the "Irish Mother Leadership Style." The foundation of this leadership style is to give of yourself fully to the family or the mission of the organization. Action comes from the desire to serve members of the family or group, regardless of whether they are superior or subordinate, and to have your actions rooted in a never-ending feeling of service or love. The love you feel for your family or organization enables you to serve them with a conviction that begins in your soul, giving you a feeling that you cannot fail. Failure to the "Irish Mother" does not exist. Failure is simply a new starting point, because nothing is ever too unrecoverable in the eyes of the "Irish Mother." The same "can-do" family-oriented leadership is in our Core Values, enabling the Air Force to maintain its dominance in technology and the skills of its Airmen. So this Mother's Day, be sure to recognize the one person who loves you unconditionally, and remember she is proud of what you do. She is proud of the efforts you make to secure our nation with the same values she instilled in you when you were her "little man or lady." Sarah Mallen once reflected on her mother's love and said, "Your arms were always open when I needed a hug. Your heart understood when I needed a friend. Your gentle eyes were stern when I needed a lesson. Your strength and love has guided me and gave me wings to fly." I Love you Mom!